Conversion

Last Sunday we talked about Paul's conversion found in Acts 9. What I love about this story, as well as the many other conversion stories in Acts, is that Paul's conversion is about being enlisted into God's cause. Paul, a man with a strong agenda, is changed by his encounter with the truth that Jesus is the Messiah. This is not a story of self-actualization; instead it's a story of real change because of an encounter with the truth. Paul's kingdom, his agenda, crumbled to the ground, making room for God's agenda.

I suggested the same must happen to us. The call for us is to learn to give up on trying to save ourselves through whatever means we find meaningful, and instead, to give up ourselves for Christ and his kingdom. The goal is not to make Christ relevant to our lives, but to let the Spirit transform us so that our lives become relevant to God and his kingdom.

But what does that mean? I think at a bare minimum it means that the Kingdom of God is now on our radar screens. You see, we might not know what to do. We might even feel lost in terms of direction, but there's been a change. Whereas once it was all me, myself and I; now we're thinking about and beginning to desire the truth, beauty and goodness found in God, in his Son, and in his creation.

Conversion is fundamentally a transformation of our desires. More on that later . . .

Peace.

Elder Brother, Again

I'm still thinking about the elder brother. I'm sorry, I can't help myself. I can't stop thinking about it.

The thought occurred to me this afternoon, perhaps this parable is scandalous because of our inability to perceive properly--and receive!--God's love. God's love might not be enough . . . and yet it might be too much for us.

Reading Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son has forced me to ask the question, Is God's love enough? The elder brother has been with his father, and his father has left the party to find him, to invite him in. The father obviously loves the elder son. But it's not enough. There's something more he desires. Control? Money? Appreciation? All of the above? Who knows? The questions remains, Is God's love enough for us? Is it enough for me?

It if it isn't enough for me, then it's easy to become filled with resentment. I will resent those who have more and who do less, find myself bitter when I'm not acknowledged for the love I give, angry when I do not receive the respect I feel I deserve, unable to rejoice with those who rejoice.

Nouwen believes the elder brother is lost in resentment. God's love is not enough, therefore, he feels cheated. He refuses to be found, resisting God's love.

But on the other hand, perhaps God's love is too much. The elder brother might resist God's love because he's not sure he wants a father who loves rebellious younger brothers with equal passion. This son of the father's has wasted the family's inheritance, weakened their social and economical standing, and yet, he is treated like a faithful prince. This is offensive to common sense morality. It's much like the parable of the workers--at the end of the day everyone received the same amount, those who worked all day and those who only worked the last hour. God's love is too much for some. I mean, honestly, do we want to sit down at a table with immoral losers who stand against all we support and now, by grace, are a part of the kingdom? Many of the Pharisees weren't interested in a such a kingdom. Are we? Is God's grace too great? Is his mercy too wonderful for us? Is his love too much? Are ready and willing to sit down at a table and fellowship with former, or current, enemies who are loved equally by God.

After all, God's grace might take us into the heart of some of our deepest fears. God's grace calls us to relinquish control. We can longer depend upon our own goodness but upon God's mercy. Furthermore, we can't dictate anymore who's in and who's out; this is God's doing. And he might very well call us to people we don't like. It's really hard to believe that God does NOT dispense his love based upon how well people behave. It's not a performance-based love. It's free for all! God's love is often too much.

If any of this is true, how do we respond? If we're still stuck, then what do we do. Nouwen suggests three things. First, let yourself be found. God wants you, let him find you. Recognize that he's been searching for you, stop running, stop working, let yourself be found. Second, trust--trust in the father's love. His love should be enough for us. Third, live with gratitude. We're called to recognize that all is a gift, the call to work early in the day and the ability to work late in the day. It's all a donation from God's love, a response to God's initiating grace.

We return to the theme from The Shack: "Learn to live loved." Easier said than done.

Peace.